May 7, 2008

by Mark Dugan

For the last year and a half, I've been opposite the most difficult, disagreeable, and infuriating attorney I've ever faced. He is perhaps the perfect lawyer for his client, a South Carolina company whose president has said he'd rather pay fines to the Department of Labor than overtime to his employees, because it's cheaper.

Most lawyers can disagree over facts and legal arguments while maintaining a civil, respectful relationship with their opponents, but not this guy. He shouts on the phone, then writes confirming emails mischaracterizing the conversation. Nearly every email from him contains an accusation of misconduct by my colleagues and me, conjured up either by twisting facts or by rank speculation. He makes unreasonable demands and denies reasonable requests. He accuses me of making false statements to the court. During depositions, he treats opposing parties and counsel disrespectfully, laughing at them, insulting them, or openly accusing them of lying. He is gratuitously, congenitally mean.

Dealing with this lawyer and responding appropriately has not been easy. If we as Christians are supposed to love our enemies, how do we respond to people like this lawyer? That's not a lead- in to my pre-packaged solution. I don't have one. I don't love this guy. I don't like him. I can barely tolerate him.

What I have done is ask him to be civil, though to little avail. I've also responded with simple disagreement when necessary to defend myself or my client, trying not to raise the level of rancor or goad him into pointless escalation. And I've collected information about him from other lawyers. It turns out he treats everyone like this. One story has him accusing an opposing lawyer of flirting with a court reporter to get a better transcript. One lawyer wonders how he avoids having a heart attack, since he goes through each day in a constant state of rage.

When I step out of the trenches and think about him, compassion comes a little easier. Here is a guy who for some reason is full of rage, who sees no value in basic human civility, who thinks every battle must be fought with the gloves off. It must be a difficult way to go through life. And it must make life difficult for the young lawyers who work for him, and for his wife and children, who cannot disengage when they need to, as I can. Maybe taking this step back and seeing his misfortune is the first step toward loving an enemy.

Dear God, help us to find ways to relate to each other, and especially to our enemies, with love and compassion. Amen